The Source

Over the past couple of years I have had many changes in my life. One major one was my oldest son taking the big step and getting married after being with his then girlfriend for four years. They had been together since their junior year in highschool and I couldn't ask for a better wife for him. We are blessed!

They've been married going on two years now and are expecting their first child; my grandson. I am slowly coming to terms with all of the times I've heard people talk about how great it is being a grandparent, and how grandkids are the best. Our little man still has a couple of months in the womb, at least that's what we pray, and I am already in love. I have, sitting by my rocking chair, a little chair for him; as well as the start of a book collection. It is very hard to pass up a good book that you can share with your grandson! (Oh and there is a small basket of toys slowly filling) My wonderful husband, bless his heart, often says "Lord help us!".

About six weeks ago, my daughter-in-law began having contractions; which would be the first of many. To be honest, it had never crossed my mind of the possiblity of a pre-mature birth. I had been so wrapped up with falling in love with this precious grandson of ours that complications weren't even a thought; until then. It was like everything inside me froze in fear of all the "what if's". The "what if's" that I refuse to even speak outloud, must less write in my blog.

Last week my daughter-in-law found herself back in the hospital, for the second time, with contractions. Of course I dropped everything and went there to be with them, along with her parents.

I gotta tell ya, it's not easy watching one of your kids in so much pain. (Yes, I consider her one of my own now) I actually had to walk away at one point to collect myself. Not only was I standing there feeling so helpless with her being in so much pain, but I was frozen in fear for my grandson. I walked away and wispered to my Heavenly Father that I needed His strength before I lost it myself.

After several hours, they were able to stop the contractions and, by the grace of God, everything calmed down. She was discharged with instructions to follow up the following week with her OB. (She was already going every other week and had been taken off of work.)

After much discussion, it was decided that I would spend the night with them and stay with her the next day until my son came home from work. Her parents live a good distance away and although they wanted to take her home with them, as any parent would, she decided she wanted to be home and close to the hospital. While staying there, I mustered up the courage to ask if they would be alright with me going to their next appointment with them. I really am trying to be a good mother/mother-in-law; this parenting adults stuff is HARD!! They both said they were ok with me going to the appointment; and I silently did my happy dance.

The following week, I joined them at the OB; along with my list of questions. This grandma had questions and needed reassuring that they were doing everything they could for my daughter-in-law and grandson. One of the first things that the doctor did was listen to his heart beat. Although I had heard his heartbeat while they were in the hospital, this was very reassuring and brought tears to my eyes. In the words of the doctor, "He has a very strong heartbeat!"

The appointment went very well. The doctor was very patient and understanding with this concerned grandma. And, after talking with her, this grandma felt much better. I had the opportunity to go straight to the source with my concerns and questions. Although some questions my son and his wife had already checked on themselves, there was just something about hearing it straight from the source herself that made me feel better.

While driving home after the appointment, I began thinking and I realized that we are like that at times with God. We can carry our fears and concerns around until we are practically paralyzed by them. They begin to affect our behaviors and our decisons. We even tend to verbalize those fears to those around us before we even go to the Source! Those with whom we've confided in may try to encourage us with prayer and scripture; and that's all good. However, we won't have true peace unless we go straight to the Source Himself. Until we go straight to our Heavenly Father and give Him our list of worries and concerns will we have true peace and assurance. Are you burdened with worry or paralyzed by fear today? Is there anything weighing so heavily on your heart and mind that you don't know what to do?

If so, please know that your heavenly Father waits with anticipation that you will come to Him. I encourage you to go straight to the source with your list of questions and concerns. It doesn't have to be some perfect prayer down on your knees. Just talk to Him like you do with your best friend. Let Him have it all.

I go to Him daily, sometimes more than once, with my list. Everytime I use my cell phone and see my screensaver with my grandson's ultrasound picture on there, I ask the Lord to protect him. Jesus tells us in Matthew chapter 11 verse 28 "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." (NLT) Do you need to take your list to the Lord today? Are you weary from carrying too many heavy burdens? He's waiting for you... He's waiting for you to give Him all your worries and fears. He is waiting to give you complete rest.

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